Letters to My Lover. (7)

I wanted to start by apologising for everything I put you through. I'm mean. I'm bitchy. I'm easily offended and way too emotional. I'm possessive and jealous and I'm so goddamn rude. I name call and fight for no reason and I could just go on and on but I don't have the strength to point out any more. You know them all. Yet, you simply bear them silently. And I don't think I could ever thank you enough for that. You're different from the kind of people I've known. You're sweet and kind and patient and so tolerant. I'm sorry for everything. I swear I'll try harder. I'll do my best to deserve even an iota of your love.
When I'm with you though, in person, it's different. All I can think of is the way your skin glistens with sweat when you come over, on hot afternoons. The way your hair is messy and yet looks perfect. The way you smile with those perfect pearly whites shining bright. It's not just the devilish grin with the widening of your mouth but you smile with your entire face. It's clear that you're happy. I hope I'm right in my 'deduction'. Your face just lights up like a beacon of light, leading the ship that is my heart, to the shore that is yours. It's infectious. You're infectious. I don't know whether you're a drug or a disease or some weird combination of both. Because, I'm addicted to you and no amount of rehab (that is, anything people say to get me away from you) will stop my cravings. A disease because, well, you infect me with your love. When you smile, my chest almost bursts open, for my heart beats so fast. When your skin grazes mine, it sets me on fire. I get goose pimples and my skin begins to tingle and it just, it feels so good. I can't explain it properly since I'm not yet capable of using words that well. I feel the closest to you not when we're naked, not when we're inside each other. In a way, one. But when we're simply sitting next to each other. Doing nothing in particular. When I sometimes catch you looking at me, and when you sometimes catch me. When our limbs bump into each other's. When I look into your beautiful eyes. That's when I feel the most secure. The closest to you. It brings me joy beyond compare.
I've given you all of me, and I believe you when you say that you've given me all of you. There's nothing more that I could ask of you. You're perfect. And you're mine. And having you with me, makes me feel a bit perfect as well. Without you I'm just an insecure Mess but with you, it all makes sense. We make sense. Because we're perfect together. And we'll show the world exactly what we can do. Exactly how amazing we are. We'll make everyone see us the way we see each other. I'll always be there for you, in moments black or blue. I'll be by your side, any time of day or night. Just give me your word that you won't ever give up on us. I give you mine. That's all I want from you. I love you. My heart is yours to keep for evermore. You can do whatever you want with it. But I'm begging you never to break it. It's barely back together. It won't heal in time if anything happens to it.